Finders Keepers!

I was cleaning my room the other day, a task I've been avoiding for quite some time, and I came across my very first lap top.  Purchased during the first year of our marriage in 2000, my husband arrived at our apartment door with it in hand.  "Surprise!  Now write."  He said.

Swirling in nostalgia I wiped the thick layer of dust off the top and showed my husband.  Being the technical guru he is, he wondered if it would boot up.  Miracles upon miracles it did, and oh what a walk down memory lane, as I looked at writings I had long forgotten about.  Amidst college essays and short stories I vaguely recalled writing, I found a file entitled Random Thoughts.  I was pretty impressed by it, as were my children who said, "What poet wrote that?"  And responded with enormous astonishment when I told them I did!  At least I think I did.  Here's the thing, my names not on it...no one's is, however I have absolutely no recollection of writing the words I found on my computer.  Truth be told, it's not even finished, the last stanza stops mid word, and when I read it through a second time I'm not even sure it was meant to be a poem, but actually is just four paragraphs of random thoughts.  My husband thinks this is simply hysterical and I'm comforted to know I never cease to amaze him...

So, without further ado, I'd like to share this "poem" that I think I wrote many years ago, with the disclaimer that I may not have actually written it...though it was in my laptop.  I left the fourth and incomplete stanza out because, well it was incomplete, and I didn't think it was needed!


Random Thoughts

I want to be honest but there’s too much true

Sometimes I get so nervous that I take off everything,

Exposing myself fully to the perfect you.

Only to watch your eyes widen in disbelief, hearing

My voice admit my clothes are better on.

So much of me is longing to express. I’m fearing,

I’m not enough because I can see you

And I’m left as a child, young and weaning 

Off her mothers approval, for that is true,

I said too much already, and yet nothing at all.

I want to make people feel as I do from you

To elevate their souls with my voice, singing

Like an Angel in flight, tender, soft, to sooth

Speak that bodies be moved,

Write that I might express, express something true.